Many people use online dating sites to overcome shyness and insecurity before testing the waters in the offline world.
When two scientists representing Perth’s Murdoch University got together to research the world of online dating introductions they discovered some interesting statistics. The research involved several focus groups of online dating site members and online dating past users.
Their studies discovered that having such a big sea of online dating singles to choose from gave even the most insecure singles a huge confidence lift. The possibility of meeting and being chosen by other attractive dating members, who were openly available, assisted them to put aside their feelings of insecurity.
“With internet online dating, members have more choices, they have the opportunity to be more selective and their level of confidence rises, they’re not only relying on appearances and confidence to meet people” quotes Dr Kirsty Best who conducted the studies with colleague Sharon Demelge. “Also, this isn’t just finishing at the computer screen, it’s the attitude online internet daters are taking with them into the real world. A single woman who may have at one time or another sat and listened to a boring guy in a bar because she thought her options were closed might now be more likely to excuse herself from the conversation as she knows that she can look around elsewhere” Dr Best says to the telegraph.
“Whilst the numbers are massive with respects to the amount of members joining online dating sites, the biggest challenge is the sifting through them all. Like any well stocked department store, successful internet online dating sites make it simple for singles to track down exactly what they are looking for. Few have time to sort through the clearance bins of love for the right fit. Security procedures, virtual dates and other detailed searching criteria are ways some sites are using to assist their members find the right match. The hardest issue used to be the introduction part – that’s what friends playing match maker, computer chat, pre-arranged weddings and the dance were all about” Dr Best suggests. In some ways however, many online dating singles who use sites too often can end up missing out on many potential matches. The research showed that they used an in house selection system to weed out those unsuitable matches. This same selection method though often sidelines many perfect matches as the artificial constraints do not take into account information not held online.
Andrew, one of the study participants quoted in the daily telegraph said “I got the distinct feeling, it’s a lot like shopping, they’re thinking he’s rather nice, but let’s see if there’s anyone better emailing or smsing me”. Dr Best predicts that singles will become less likely to be happy with just one person, becoming like fashionists who will not buy a pair of shoes until they have looked at every shoe in the store. Of course with so many online daters to select from, that could take forever. The trick to successful online dating is to stop when you find someone that feels right and not think that a better deal is just one click away.
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